We’ve remixed our values!!

Where are the days men used to be courteous without seeming gay and stupid! Do guys still open doors for ladies or we have to see it in movies . The way guys think these days is since “you’re shopping you’re carrying!”

I went grocery shopping with Hottie this morning, she bought this big bunch of plantain and she asked me to please be a gentle man to help her with it, I said sure, I saw no big deal in it, as we strolled we stopped by a Phone store, I needed new earphones, they didn’t  have what I wanted, as we were about to leave with me holding the plantain in some nylon bag, (it looked big when you look at it), the attendant tells Hottie to help me with what I was holding, obviously the attendant was a guy! She smiled and said illiterate! Because she really did thank me and said if it was some guys she knew they would have let her do the whole “load carrying”.

The whole family went shopping last Christmas at the mall, and then a couple had just finished shopping, as they were passing by, the lady complained that the man could not be looking at her carting everything while he was well helping with nothing! Mum also complained too “how can men these days be so ignorant of how to behave”, it seems we guys have thrown the “gentle in the word gentleman”.

Mum hates driving to some parts of town so she takes the public transport, and if I did the driving she did be complaining about my “speed”, if it was my brother she did be complaining about his “drifts”, she took to public transport! As she returned it was late and there was a rush for every vehicle, mum was about to make an entry into some vehicle, some Igbo guy almost beat her to it, and people asked why couldn’t he be a gentleman and let her through, he said “I’m not a Yoruba man that will be “courteous”, when it comes to ladies! When did one having etiquette have to do with tribe?! Pathetic!

Yes it’s the 21 century! It’s the jet age! It’s also a time for us to be well behaved and not to be unruly! During summer, I had the opportunity to volunteer for a camping program for teenagers, and they were asked if they could stand up anywhere they’re found for someone older than they are to have a seat. And they answered obviously like teenagers! They said no way, and most especially when they are so tired! Why should they? For the fact they even got there first it’s impossible!

It’s easy to get carried away, some guys do, they don’t know when she’s carrying all the groceries, it just never occurred to some men these days that ladies need some (not all) doors opened for them, like the way men in my locality think flowers aren’t that important to women! We all think it’s money, but sometimes the little things matter, it’s not about saying you love and care, and making tons and tons of promises, some actions do speak louder than words, some gesture send messages no vocabulary can! Some actions make women feel like a lady! I have an uncle who is married with kids, which is not a reason for him not to treat a lady right, he so warm, and gives ladies their respect, even my grandma (maternal) commented and said he’s a nice and warm gentleman!

And as for the teenagers, they are yet to grow up and realize this world is just too big for it to be about them only!

Drop the ego being a man is enough ego!!

The word gentleman is a title earned and not inherited!!

12"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you... Matt 7:12