Wednesday

Virginity where did we keep it?!


Virginity where did we keep it?!!!



Virginity is a very sensitive word for individuals, some people just laugh at it because they have lost it or they don’t really take it serious, some consider it as no big deal, but deep down in the minds of everyone it really means something, especially when we are sober, is it still worth keeping? We think of how we lost it? Why we lost it? The moment when we lost it was it worth it? Was the person we gave it up to worth it? People put their conscience to rest because of one phrase “EVERYBODY IS DOING IT”, I asked a young girl what virginity meant to her and she insulted me right there and then, Inever knew it was a sensitive issue for everyone.

I was in a lecture way back in school when a lecturer was talking about trees, he said trees are like girls, a forest that has not been touched at all is called a virgin forest, while a forest that has been touched is called a secondary forest, and they keep on going in there without no stop taking it down, it becomes a degraded forest, and there is still an incessant cutting down of trees from this forest it eventually become a desert, well all the guys were laughing, I was trying to find out the kind of look the girls were wearing, they looked like someone was narrating their darkest secret which they were ashamed of, the man’s explanation was so funny to me, I took out my phone and I started recording the big joke and a girl from behind hit me and said ‘’why are you trying to record it?” this just proved how not so funny it was to some people.

Virginity used to be real stuff back then, where parents hammered down on it and teens took it more seriously when I mean back then I mean my great grandparents back then!! But now it’s just something the movies have made to look like it’s just mare emotions, we’re in love or we’re just attracted to one another so what the heck let’s just do it

I remember while I was growing up there were some meals I just hated and some I can’t just go a day without them, it always seemed like the meals I hated seem to be the only thing that will keep me alive, and my beloved mother will force me to eat them. I always wish I could eat all the sweets, snacks and meals I wanted every day, but they tend not to be nutritional at all, but I did everything within my feeble power not to eat these undesirable dishes, Iwaste time to avoid my horrible breakfast, skip the unwanted lunches, throw away the tasteless dinner and I always snick and hide to have my delicious delicacies when they are not provided. You need to hear the sermon about my meals when I was ill, my mum made it seem as if I was sick because I refused to eat the dishes she wanted me to eat, that if I had being eating them I would not be sick, she makes me feel, all the food I like eating were just over rated! True or false I don’t know?! It’s the same for sex, being a youth you get the sex talk that abstinence is best but we think we know best and engage ourselves in strange endeavors, well we will live with results of our escapades whether good or bad.

In the Yoruba culture in the olden times, it was a big deal to find out whether the girl to be married to is a virgin or not, the girl will be checked and if she passes the exam a full box of matches will be sent to the family of the girl, if not the box of match will be half full. The weather has changed now we have what we call “Global warming”, so did human practices in some Yoruba homes, a wife to be must be pregnant before she gets married, they all treat virginity like it’s some vintage practice. 

Growing up I learnt there was HIV around, that it spreads like wild fire and it kills people, so there were Ads about how to prevent it which was abstinence, later as time passed and they figured it wasn’t working, condoms were being advertised, it seemed to work well they figured out that everyone likes to do it now and everyone likes to do with anyone they can find, the Ads were now begging everyone to just stick to one partner. 

Now the way to prevent the contraction of this deadly virus and its cousins STDs these days is to use the G unit “condom”, because according to what is happening these days we might want to do it whenever, wherever and with whomever we can do it with, you may not really love the person or even know the person for that matter anything can happen, and my guys will always take all necessary steps to play safe, they keep their little shot-gun anywhere it can be kept just for the rainy day.

A freshman came to visit me and after the visit, I was escorting her home and we met a good friend of ours Chris and his girlfriend, we were all talking and playing, the freshman tried to tickle me and I jumped at it, she found out that I was very ticklish then she said that one of our very good friends told her that am a virgin, I just smiled all of a sudden Chris’s girlfriend jumped to my defense knowing that it was true, said “oh no! He is not a virgin”, that am not a virgin at all!! she went on to say it’s a great pride for a girl to be a virgin but it’s certainly not good for a guy to be one, and I just marveled at this sayings, actually this was not the first time I was hearing that “it’s not good for a guy not to be a virgin”, what I wonder about is the fact that it’s pride for girls to keep their virginity, and it’s not for guys to keep it but what happens to the girls the guys lose their virginity to, or have sex with, they have nothing to be proud about!!

There is nothing as complicated as sex, for guys and girls,  apart from the unwanted results like HIV and pregnancy, some people fell cheapened, like they have being devalued, they feel less a human, for any human at all if they have to walk in in a room full of people and they find out they have spent a night with at least twenty people in the room, they feel less than garbage, for some people they think this only applies to girls alone that guys take pride in it well I don’t think so. Back in school I was walking with a couple of friends and one of the guys wanted to pee, so he walked some distance from us and turned to the bush and said he didn’t want any of us to see his stuff, we know him for sleeping around with the next available thing, we called him public toilet that his stuff has seen by everyone so what is there to hide.

Parents usually flair up when their kids tend to reach that age, when they could start dating, they are not really worried about the fact that their kids are dating but the fact that they could start having sex, just to imagine their little one engaging in something they really need to matured for, taunts them like night mares, they try the sex talk, and encourage they save sex till marriage which they know they won’t because they themselves as parents didn’t, so they a times say they should have sex with someone they truly love, and always play safe. The save sex till marriage thing is beginning to dwindle from generation to generation because of so many countless reasons, some people just don’t believe in it , for some it just happen that they were too in love they didn’t know how they lost it, some claim they had to have sex to keep their beloved one, for some it was something they couldn’t control, a force that took charge of the situation that one could not fight against then and there and the reasons just go on and on, well for any critic there is one thing they will always say YOU HAD A CHOICE!!!

The things that happen in one’s life tends to happen according to one word ‘’principle’’, some people want to be rich, some just want a comfortable life, some want to visit all the parts of the world, some want to get married while some don’t want to, some want children and some don’t want any at all, this life we live is governed by principles. Growing up as individuals we all had some basic principles about life and the choices we planned on making in it, well the laws we laid down for our lives do not really cover all areas, but some people made up their minds on what to do and what not to do about sex, some planned on saving it till marriage and lost it along the way, some just planned on having it with the one they love the most and so many more unexplainable reasons, while some still had virginity with them and gave it all up in marriage because they had made up their mind on what they wanted and they chased it till the very end.

Decision making tends to be one of the hardest thing in a human’s life, we tend to find ourselves at tight corners atall times, especially when it comes to the ones that will change our lives forever, a decision one must not take the wrong turn, to me when making a decision I always consider one thing, that when am in my 80s, 90s, or even more than these age ranges, that what will I say I  made of my life and its choices, all I just want to do at that age is to smile and say to myself not minding what anybody thinks of me is “you did the right thing man” with no regret.


you cannot blame your parents for the life that you have, they were supposed to give you one thing and one thing only life and it’s what you make out of it that counts, and not what they did or didn’t do stop blaming anybody for the happenings in your life it’s yours not mine there’s only one person that can ruin it for you and that’s you!!


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